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Tag Archives: Dean Kaufman

Notionally Colonnic – New Web Presence, Eels, Asses

We think each one will heave to and unload All good into our lives, all we are owed For waiting so devoutly and so long. But we are wrong: Only one ship is seeking us, a black- Sailed unfamiliar, towing at her back A huge and birdless silence. In her wake No waters breed or [...]

Jerusalem Offertory: Nor Shall his Pork Sword Sleep in his Hand

Bring me my bow of burning gold! Bring me my arrows of desire! Bring me my spear! O clouds, unfold! Bring me my chariot of fire! November 13th – shuffled sheepishly through Israeli immigration, enduring a 30-second staring down by an oddly Aryan young woman in army fatigues. Last time an attractive girl looked at [...]

Gerard Hopkins: The Manley Burden of Responsibility

‘Enough: corruption was the world’s first woe. What need I strain my heart beyond my ken? O but I bear my burning witness though Against the wild and wanton work of men.’ Minutes from the Annual General Meeting of Julian Richards’ shareholders, backstage at their old haunt, the Gaiety in Times Square; it’s now an [...]

Noah Sheldon: Nameneko is the New Bukkake

‘Our hunting fathers told the story Of the sadness of the creatures, Pitied the limits and the lack Set in their finished features; Saw in the lion’s intolerant look, Behind the quarry’s dying glare, Love raging for, the personal glory That reason’s gift would add’ What an unnerving and enchanting experience to come round of [...]

Fishing Milf with Nacked Breasts – The Search for Meaning

Word is in from the electronic mailroom that the agency’s incoming ECG has recently exhibited a palpable spike. Where the cybermailbag previously resembled nothing much more than a pendulous, geriatric scrotum, it has of late plumped out appreciably, tautening away the pachydermous wrinkles and stretching its knobbly surface to a pregnant sheen. What was once [...]

All Flaxen was his Pole – Aubade for Chris Buck

He is dead and gone, lady, He is dead and gone; At his head a grass-green turf, At his heels a stone. (Hamlet, Act IV, Sc. V) There are agents weeping, wandering the corridors of 609 Greenwich Street like a feral pack of Ophelias. Julian Richards, who can be easily identified by his cockle hat [...]

John Betjeman, Early Draft – Meet Sarah Wilmer

Sparkling news from The Betjeman Society’s Annual General Meeting in Canterbury. President Emeritus The Reverend Norman Darkling provided details pertaining to an early draft of the poet’s definitive A Subaltern’s Love Song recently unearthed in the gents’ public conveniences in Regents Park, London. Apparently the folio had been rolled into a loose scroll and used [...]

Perkin Lovely in Siglufjörður – Meet Mike McGregor

Met Office is warning of a hairy swell round the Faroes so we’ve swung northerly and I am currently nestled like a sooty tern in a rocky fissure. Siglufjörður, m’bonnie bairns, Home of the Icelandic Herring, they tell me. A loosely piled panoply of corrugated iron, grimly painted and populated by shuffling consumptives with downward [...]

Websites – Updating (A Method)

A year into the life of a website would seem an appropriate period of time to take stock, absorb criticism and move forward with appropriate changes and material updates. Photographers should – if they are paying due attention to their cameras and careers – be able to post swathes of new material, evidence of twelve [...]

TT Anussen – A Visionary Approach to Advertising

Dear Mr Richards Further to our conversation of 23rd April I would like to confirm my interest in commissioning original photography from your agency for the purposes of creating an ongoing, cross-media advertising campaign promoting our line of products. To recap: TT Anussen is a Rotterdam-based manufacturer of state-of-the-art surgical devices pertaining to the lower [...]